09/22/2007
Life Update
There has been a lot of changes in my life since the 06/04/2007 Weight Loss update. I have not posted anything other than just weight updates because I had been trying to decide if I should tell the world what all has happened to me. I've really needed to let things cool off, to become accustomed to the changes I guess before I could put them into words.
My life was thrown into Turmoil almost 4 months ago when my wife of 7 1/2 years, Marie, announced on a Friday when I came home from work that she had filed for divorce. She left to go stay at a friend's house, and I was left to spend the evening going through shock, denial, all the stages of grief. I didn't sleep the whole evening, and when she got back the next day we talked and went to the bank to separate out our bank accounts and assets. I asked if we could have gone to counseling, to have tried to work out things, but she wasn't willing. She felt we had grown apart, and that she wanted to be on her own.
Over the course of the next couple of months the divorce progressed, and then the court date came and it was final. It's been difficult for me at times to fathom the idea of being alone the rest of my life. The concept is very foreign to me. I'm only 33 years old, have lost a great deal of weight, am in the best shape physically of my life... and then this all happens. I know divorces happen, I just never thought it would happen to us. We never fought, not over big things. Never argued over big things. We had a great friendship, partnership, and enjoyed our lives together. I was comfortable, happy, and thought things were great. I guess I was oblivious.
During the whole divorce, Marie wrecked her XB9R, separated her shoulder, and broke a bone in her foot. She went down in a long, gentle curve. She was riding with 5 riders from her work, and they had been popping wheelie's she said, riding like crazy. She got overconfident and did a high side. She was lucky she wasn't killed. I had to go up and take her to the hospital. She's healed up, still has one final operation to remove the screw from her shoulder, but she'll be okay.
I pretty much quit Bujinkan Taijutsu during this time, I have very little time for training because I have been helping my dad clean up his home because he wants to move and sell it. So between going to work, doing laundry and chores, helping my dad, figuring out how to pay bills again, well, I don't have a ton of time it seems... but I want to have someone in my life to spend time with and know making time is important.
Anyway, it's over, and now I am finding I really don't want to be alone.
The Future
I like women, and want a woman in my life. I need female companionship, I know that. I have a bunch of good close friends, but most of them are married and they are guys... and hanging out with the guys isn't as much fun as having a woman with you. You really can't curl up on the couch with a guy friend and cuddle on a rainy day and watch movies (or at least I REALLY WOULDN'T WANT TO DO THAT). I'd love to have a sexy gal on the back of my bike, with the saddlebags loaded up for a picnic and ride to Petit Jean for the day. Someone to take to the lake, to go swimming, and have fun on the water. Someone just to enrich my life, who makes my heart beat a step faster, who I anticipate talking with her and seeing the light in her eyes. How do I find that, will it find me? I don't know. I know I want it, I know I need it. I need someone who is as open, honest, and caring as I am. Someone who is willing to give me their time and attention, and they'll have mine. So we'll see. I'll keep an open mind, and be hopeful.
Motorcycles
I rode one of my bikes to work for the first time in the last four months this last week. It was nice to be riding again, but I think I need to replace the Windshield. The Memphis Shade's Shooter has some sort of weird pattern on it in the black, but I am wondering if it's just from being a few years old. |
